How I survived being successful…

What the hell happened??

If you’ve been following me on my YouTube Channel (Thank You!), you’ll know that in August 2023 I moved to Branford, CT to take a job at Freedom Road Harley-Davidson.

And now, if you follow me on LinkedIn or are part of my Facebook Group Irish BOB’s 🍀 Motorcycle Life, you’ll have seen this post:

On New Year’s Eve my husband Roger helped move me & my 2018 Heritage back home to Northern New York. At the hotel where we spent the night before our 6 hour drive, I saw this message from the Universe:

My new job at Freedom Road was going good- working with great people & making new friends. I was helping others while learning a ton. I had the love & support of my hubby. I had a nice apartment with a good landlord that was within walking distance to the shop. Plus, being in a largely populated area, there is lots to see & do…

So, what the hell happened?

Just one piece of the many content creations I made while at FRHD.

Early in our marriage, Roger joined the US Army & served as an Infantryman for 18 years, going on six deployments of 6-18 months, before being medically discharged. All that time I raised our two kids and worked when I needed to help our family finances.

When the kids became teenagers I started my first job at my first Harley-Davidson dealership and became HOOKED!! The work is fun & challenging, the people are down-to-earth with little drama, and the possibilities for growth and career advancement are great!!

I am passionate about the Harley-Davidson lifestyle and Motorcycle Adventure, and I love sharing that passion with others. Fast forward 15 years and three dealerships (for a total of 4) later when I have been ALL about the work and the motorcycle community. To the point where my husband often said he was a Harley widow -especially during the Riding Season.

Chad (Service Manager), Me & Dan (General Manager) celebrating my Birthday

That’s not to say my husband doesn’t enjoy Riding & Having fun- he absolutely does!! We’ve been on many Motorcycle Adventures and even renewed our wedding vows last year in front of Serial Number One at the Harley-Davidson museum!

And throughout all of that my husband has supported me in my career with Harley dealerships. He knew it was more than just a job for me -it’s a passion that consumes me!! So he fully supported my move to Branford, CT so that I could chase that dream & succeed.

As I said- everything was going good with the job EXCEPT for the fact that Roger was over five hours away. Because we’re 10 years into a 30 year mortgage with a really great interest rate, we both agreed that it would be better financially to keep the house. Even though we talked almost daily, there was a deep hole developing right under me.

Christmas plans were set: I would be going home for the Holiday on the eve of Christmas Eve, and I would be back at the shop on December 27th. Three and a half days.

Then, the first weekend of December, trying to get in the Christmas Spirit, I decided to watch a Holiday movie. Went to Peacock and the first thing that popped up was Genie.

It’s a fairytale story about a workaholic man who prioritizes his work over his family, and in the process looses his family. His wife decides to take their daughter to stay with her mom over the holidays, and talk about splitting up begins. The man stumbles upon a Genie (Melissa McCarthy) who tries to help get his family back in time for Christmas.

I won’t spoil the movie for you -but by the end of the end I was sobbing pretty badly and couldn’t stop. I felt as if that hole that had been forming underneath me had finally swallowed me up.

Falling, falling, falling. I was all alone, no family close by other than by phone. I had made friends at the shop although I didn’t feel close enough to talk to any of them about what was going on.

What was I doing? What was I working for? What was I achieving and what was the cost?? How was I going to feel when the time came to leave home after only three and a half days? I just could not stop crying!

Trying to “push it down,” tuck away my emotions was no longer working… I had been doing it for the last three months -now it was overflowing!! At that point I knew the only way for me to effectively deal was to get through it. Facing it head on in order to come through on the other side was the safest, best plan. So, I called 988 -the crisis hotline.

If you feel as if you’re at your wit’s end, PLEASE CALL 988!!!

Talking to a stranger is sometimes easier than to someone you know. With their help I was able to come to the conclusion that, even if I had all the money in the world, being away from my husband was just too much.

The decision to put my relationship with Roger and our marriage first, came after a good talk with a caring counselor who helped me out of the bottomless pit I had found myself in. The next day at Freedom Road I told my bosses, giving my notice that December 30th would be my last day.

Over the next three weeks I was saying, “Goodbye” once again to the good people I had found kinship with… And, once again, it was very hard to say it - I was truly sad to be leaving. What made it even more difficult was that they were sad to see me go as well. Despite all of that, I knew that I’d made the best decision for me and my marriage.

Fast forward a few weeks into the new year and I am at peace! I’ve unpacked & moved back in, and Roger and I have rededicated ourselves to each other once again. I’m taking it slow and “checking in” with myself every day - visualizing MY definition of success rather than someone else’s.

Now, I am currently looking for work - FX Caprara Harley has filled the position that I’d once had (to be expected & that’s okay!). At this point I’m not even sure I want to go back to a Harley shop.

Am I still crazy about motorcycles and all that comes with it? YES!! We’re still planning out new adventures with friends old & new. And I’m keeping my 2018 Heritage Softail, the 115th Anniversary edition. Plus, in the future, I’d love to add a Pan America Special to my garage. It’s just that after 15 years of Harley-Davidson dealerships I’m thinking it’s time for a change.

Keep your fingers crossed for me! Recently, I submitted a job application with Revzilla for their Motorcycle Product Support and Sales Associate position. In case you’re not familiar with them, Revzilla is part of Comoto. Their other brands include J&P Cycles, Cycle Gear, Rever, and (my favorite) Common Tread. Comoto is powersports’ largest and fastest growing enthusiast platform.

In the meantime I will revamp my profile on Fiverr and will also check out Up-work. And, during the winter months at least (while my bike is safely in hibernation until the snow, salt & sand are off the roads), I promise to be more active on my social media platforms. That is AFTER I’ve taken care of me, my husband and family!!

So, stay tuned!!